Tip: Change Your Perspective
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There is an old, wooden roller coaster in Kennywood park just outside of Pittsburgh
that is famous with coaster aficionados from around the world. Rather than beginning
the ride with a climb up a clickity, clackity slope, the Thunderbolt plummets 95 feet into
a natural gorge. If you don’t know what to expect, you never catch your breath for the
entire ride. After the first shock, the brief respite during the next climb is completely
undermined by anticipation of the next drop. I feel almost certain that whoever coined
the phrase emotional roller coaster had the Thunderbolt in mind.\
The element of surprise feeds a good deal of power into our emotional response to
any event. Once in motion, we are like the riders of the Thunderbolt who find it difficult
to compose themselves. Our bodies automatically begin to produce and react to
natural chemicals that make clear thinking difficult. Time and emotional distance are
required before we can benefit from hindsight and realize that it wasn’t as bad as it
had seemed.
that is famous with coaster aficionados from around the world. Rather than beginning
the ride with a climb up a clickity, clackity slope, the Thunderbolt plummets 95 feet into
a natural gorge. If you don’t know what to expect, you never catch your breath for the
entire ride. After the first shock, the brief respite during the next climb is completely
undermined by anticipation of the next drop. I feel almost certain that whoever coined
the phrase emotional roller coaster had the Thunderbolt in mind.\
The element of surprise feeds a good deal of power into our emotional response to
any event. Once in motion, we are like the riders of the Thunderbolt who find it difficult
to compose themselves. Our bodies automatically begin to produce and react to
natural chemicals that make clear thinking difficult. Time and emotional distance are
required before we can benefit from hindsight and realize that it wasn’t as bad as it
had seemed.
Early in my career, I lived with a young family in New York. One warm summer evening, as we were taking a
walk, the family’s little girl, Iris, was suddenly taken by a fit of frantic hysterics. Through gut-wrenching sobs she
explained that she had lost her ring.
When Iris realized that the ring was gone, she was on the emotional version of the Thunderbolt. All of the
natural reactions to stress, fear, loss, and grief came into play. It took considerable intervention to get her off
that ride. It took her father picking her up and holding her tight. Her mother caressed her head and murmured
comforting words. There were promises of a new ring, candy and ice-cream treats, and trips to the park.
To the adults, the value of that ring was negligible. On a practical level, it was a worthless piece of plastic that
had come out of a gumball machine earlier in the day. To Iris, on the other hand, it meant so much more.
Imagine the anticipation she must have felt when she turned the knob on the gumball machine and the
excitement when that treasure of great beauty fell into her palm. Imagine too, how putting it on had made her
feel beautiful and special.
Iris was only four years old. She couldn’t possibly have distanced herself enough to realize that the ring was
just a piece of plastic, one of hundreds in that machine that would still be there the next day. [continue reading...]
walk, the family’s little girl, Iris, was suddenly taken by a fit of frantic hysterics. Through gut-wrenching sobs she
explained that she had lost her ring.
When Iris realized that the ring was gone, she was on the emotional version of the Thunderbolt. All of the
natural reactions to stress, fear, loss, and grief came into play. It took considerable intervention to get her off
that ride. It took her father picking her up and holding her tight. Her mother caressed her head and murmured
comforting words. There were promises of a new ring, candy and ice-cream treats, and trips to the park.
To the adults, the value of that ring was negligible. On a practical level, it was a worthless piece of plastic that
had come out of a gumball machine earlier in the day. To Iris, on the other hand, it meant so much more.
Imagine the anticipation she must have felt when she turned the knob on the gumball machine and the
excitement when that treasure of great beauty fell into her palm. Imagine too, how putting it on had made her
feel beautiful and special.
Iris was only four years old. She couldn’t possibly have distanced herself enough to realize that the ring was
just a piece of plastic, one of hundreds in that machine that would still be there the next day. [continue reading...]